Why the Dutch nuclear summit failed

25 Mar

‘Helloooooo, Mark speaking. Who is this?’
‘Hey Mark. This is POTUS.’
‘Heeeeeey Barry! How are you my friend? Are you ok?’
‘Can you come see me? I’m in the third beast. No, just kidding, in the second beast. No, seriously, I am in the first beast.’
‘But of course Barry! On my way.’
‘First beast, second beast, third beast. It’s like a bloody shell game!’ mumbles Mark.
‘Yes? You wanted to see me?’
‘Yes. Come in. Listen Mark, I have been playing nice all this time, press conference in front of Rembrandt’s Night Watch, lovely tulips, lovely cheese. But now the play is over.’
‘Play? I don’t see what you mean Barry.’
‘I was afraid you didn’t. You know, sometimes you need to be real to each other. Just tell it like it is. Especially now. Wasn’t that your slogan Mark? Especially now? Anyway. Last Wednesday something terribly frightening happened in the Netherlands. Something that never should have been allowed to happen. Something that only can be condemned in the strongest possible terms. And all you said was ‘we don’t rule anyone out.’ That leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.’
‘Yes but..’
‘Yes I know. A bit later, when all hell broke loose, you backed out and ruled out any future cooperation with this angry blond man after all. But it was too late Mark. Even his own people saw that there is no cooperating with this man. Who’s the boss? You are!’
‘Yes Mister President.’
‘And then there was that press conference. You know what I mean? That question about Black Pete? And you just stand there trying to be funny. That hurts Mark.’
‘Really? But I didn’t mean it that way Barry. We’re friends, you and me. You can count on me, the sky is the limit. Roads, canals, even the Dutch air space I closed for you. You name it. Yes we can, you know?’
‘Wait, this is FLOTUS. I have to take this call Mark.’
‘Sorry Michelle, I’m in a meeting. Yes, I told him. No, doesn’t get it. I will. Enjoy China babe.’
‘You know what Barry? Why don’t you guys come over on December 5th, so you can see for yourself how much fun it is. And you won’t have to paint your face either, whahahaha!’

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