To kiss or not to kiss, that’s the question

28 May

I once participated in a self defense class for women (which eventually saw me chopping a piece of wood in two with my bare hands, I still keep the evidence in my book shelve) where they taught us to fend off unwanted kissers. You know the kind: those types who use any opportunity to treat you to a nice big muah.
You see them coming and you think ‘do I really want this?’ but before you can even blink your eyes you’ve been trapped. The anti-kissing technique we learned during that workshop was as simple as it was effective: you look the person straight in the eyes, you give him (or her, although most sniper-snoggers in my case happen to be men) your hand and turn your shoulder inward, leaving no space for any unwanted contact.
I had almost forgotten about the whole workshop, until recently in Egypt I ended up in a heated debate around the topic of kissing. It all started with me running into an old acquaintance, who simply ignored my outstretched hand, while kissing me on both cheeks. My Egyptian friends were shocked. A scandal. In the middle of a cafe, for crying out loud. Who the hell did he think he was? I personally didn’t make that much of it, but it did get me thinking.
Cause it can be quite complicated, that whole kissing etiquette. Who to kiss, who not to kiss? Your boss, your co-workers, your neighbors? And if you do decide to go for it, you’re confronted with the next dilemmas. One, two or three? Left-right-left, or right-left-right? Rubbing cheeks, air kisses, with or without accompanying hug? With sound effect or in silence?
And I am not the only one who is bothered by the whole kissing thing. I know people who call in sick at the end of the year, just to avoid the inevitable new year’s kisses at work. Thank God it’s a long long way from May to December. We still have some time to work on our technique.

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4 Responses to “To kiss or not to kiss, that’s the question”

  1. Theo Maas May 28, 2013 at 7:33 pm #

    I recognize the feeling and doubts all the way and I’m always glad when those well-intentioned kissingdays are over. Understand me correctly, I really like to kiss, both men and wonen, but not all of them. So maybe we can work something out, some sign that meens: thank you for you’re handshake, that’s more then enough.

  2. ramadan 2013 August 3, 2013 at 6:19 pm #

    Superb, what a website it is! This blog provides valuable facts to us, keep it up.

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