Easy for me to say

9 Jan

I’ll be the first to admit it: I should maybe not talk about the stress surrounding having kids. I don’t have to worry about putting my foetus on some school’s waiting list right after the first ultrasound, nor do I have to book a child-friendly hotel during school holidays. I don’t have to drag around any strollers or diaper bags, nor do I have a child’s seat in the back of my car. No bottles of milk, no sleepless nights, no running from school yard to football practise or piano lessons. But most of all: no spending thousands of euros a month on childcare.
So yes, easy for me to say that it’s a shame if working moms quit their jobs “because they spend their entire salary on child care” now that subsidy is cut dramatically, starting this January. That getting their old job back, once the kids are in school, may be more difficult than they think, and that they are likely to earn a lot less. That child care is not a women’s issue, but both mom and dad’s. That over one out of three marriages end in divorce, and therefore women should carefully consider giving up their financial independence to become a full-time mom. They are absolutely right, those moms who tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. Cause who am I to have any opinion about having kids, being an as-of-yet-childless-single?
Don’t get me wrong: being the daughter of a working mom I know how hard it is to do it all: be a good mom, a respected colleague and a fun wife or partner. That is some serious multi-tasking. And of course I would not be happy if the costs of childcare were to rise. But to quite working alltogether? Hell no. Oh well. Easy for me to say, right?

One Response to “Easy for me to say”

  1. clemmy January 9, 2013 at 8:02 pm #

    Hey Kirsten,

    I did not quit my job. But paying €700,- for crappy afterschool care cut deep in our overall budget. I was fortunate to have a neighbour and a friend that could help out. For me having an activity outside of the home is really important. Not working would make me miserable and therefore not a good mom. I do understand when women quit their jobs. Often the men make more money and that gives a lot of stability in their opinion. The men will not get pregnant and have all the space to get up to pace in the cut-throat environment they work in. Women will not get the opportunity to adjust working hours.

    Saying that reveals a sad, sad world where women do not get the same appreciation in salary and are generaly expected to step back and let the men handle it. We still have a long way to go. But it is women amongst each other that give other working moms a bad feeling. I have friends that get a lot of insults from other women when they take up vacations, or have to go home when their child is sick. You can’t imagine how many times women give each other a hard time either for not being a stay-at-home-mom or for not being a career tiger.

    I’m fortunate and grateful to work in an environment where I am supported as a mom and as a career woman. But for many women it means making a choice for the family and that is staying home.

    We have a long way to go!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: